Vintage Marsala

John Kerry a Master Guru of Political Karma Sutra

by Kerry Marsala

October 29, 2004

as Election Day draws nigh, the multiple positions John Kerry has offered have seemingly become so multiple that all who are drawn to this master of multiplicity should all be reaching ecstasy.  This master of multiple faceted positions can spew forth his political jargon whether he is standing, sitting, or espousing from the rear.  The dynamic master of political Karma Sutra can relate to all views and positions.  John F. Kerry has taken all sides of every position so we all can feel good about getting screwed--if he is elected.

are you for President Bush's attack on one of the axis of evil--Iraq?  No problem, Kerry is too- Kerry voted for authorization to use force in Iraq. (H.J. Res. 114, CQ Vote #237: Passed 77-23: R 48-1; D 29-21; I 0-1, 10/11/02, Kerry Voted Yea.)  In the first Dem debate, Kerry strongly supported the president's action in Iraq. KERRY: "George, I said at the time I would have preferred if we had given diplomacy a greater opportunity, but I think it was the right decision to disarm Saddam Hussein, and when the President made the decision, I supported him, and I support the fact that we did disarm him." (aBC News, Democrat Presidential Candidate Debate, Columbia, SC, 5/4/03)

Not sure if our multi-coalition of force to take out Saddam was a part of our war on terror?  No worries, Kerry's claim now states his vote was just to be used as a threatening tool.  Kerry later claimed he voted "to threaten" use of force in Iraq. "I voted to threaten the use of force to make Saddam Hussein comply with the resolutions of the United Nations." (Sen. John Kerry, Remarks at announcement Of Presidential Candidacy, Mount Pleasant, SC, 9/2/03)  Threats always work against evil tyrants, just like empty promises‰

For those of you who are completely anti-war, no problem John F. Kerry has you covered as well.   Now, Kerry says he is one of the anti-war candidates. CHRIS MaTTHEWS: "Do you think you belong to that category of candidates who more or less are unhappy with this war, the way it's been fought, along with General Clark, along with Howard Dean and not necessarily in companionship politically on the issue of the war with people like Lieberman, Edwards and Gephardt?  are you one of the anti-war candidates?" KERRY: "I am -- Yes, in the sense that I don't believe the president took us to war as he should have, yes, absolutely." (MSNBC's "Hardball," 1/6/04)  Nothing like Kerry making up his mind, is there?

For the kool-aid drinking Kerry/Edwards voters, Kerry has taken care of those who believe that this war on terror will soon be nothing more than just a nuisance‰like prostitution.  That covered the apathetic voter.  But for those of you who believed Kerry when he said it was "predominantly intelligence gathering," this is what your master political guru of multiple positions had to say-  "Kerry was asked about Bush's weekend appearance on 'Meet the Press' when he called himself a 'war president.' The senator, who watched the session, remarked: "The war on terrorism is a very different war from the way the president is trying to sell it to us. It's a serious challenge, and it is a war of sorts, but it is not the kind of war they're trying to market to america." Kerry characterized the war on terror as predominantly an intelligence-gathering and law enforcement operation. "It's basically a manhunt," he said. 'You gotta know who they are, where they are, what they're planning, and you gotta be able to go get 'em before they get us."  (Katherine M. Skiba, "Bush, Kerry Turn Focus To Each Other," Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 2/13/04)  Ya, lets go get'em John- Go ahead and make our day, after all you are the real 'war president.'

For those of you who are Kerry's political temple prostitutes he took care of your feelings over the war on terror too.  The war on terror quickly became more than just intelligence gathering.  It was only two weeks later, Kerry invented a new position and said the war on terror is more than "a manhunt".  "This war isn't just a manhunt ≠ a checklist of names from a deck of cards.  In it, we do not face just one man or one terrorist group.  We face a global jihadist movement of many groups, from different sources, with separate agendas, but all committed to assaulting the United States and free and open societies around the globe."  (Sen. John Kerry, Remarks at University Of California at Los angeles, Los angeles, Ca, 2/27/04)  Imagine President Bush, his administration and the global coalition forces were right- our way of life is facing a movement of evil that threatens free and open societies globally.

Is your motto, "Whatever number of dollars it takes to fund our troops?"  Guess what???? So is John Kerry's! Just relax--your multiple political Karma Sutra leaders believe it is critical to utilize whatever number of billions to win, they understand it is critical to the United States success in Iraq.  Kerry pledges to fund reconstruction with "whatever number" of dollars it takes.  NBC'S TIM RUSSERT: "Do you believe that we should reduce funding that we are now providing for the operation in Iraq?"  SEN. JOHN KERRY: "No. I think we should increase it."  RUSSERT: "Increase funding?"  KERRY: "Yes."  RUSSERT: "By how much?"  KERRY: "By whatever number of billions of dollars it takes to win. It is critical that the United States of america be successful in Iraq, Tim."  (NBC's "Meet The Press," 8/31/03)

as well, for those of you on the opposing side of rear entry, Kerry has your view in mind too.  Kerry took care of voting "nay" against the Senate passage of Iraq/afghanistan reconstruction package. Passage of the bill that would appropriate $86.5 billion in fiscal 2004 supplemental spending for military operations and reconstruction in Iraq and afghanistan. The bill would provide $10.3 billion as a grant to rebuild Iraq, including $5.1 billion for security and $5.2 billion for reconstruction costs. It also would provide $10 billion as a loan that would be converted to a grant if 90 percent of all bilateral debt incurred by the former Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein has been forgiven by other countries. Separate provisions limit reconstruction aid to $18.4 billion. It also would provide approximately $65.6 billion for military operations and maintenance and $1.3 billion for veterans medical care." (S. 1689, CQ Vote #400: Passed 87-12: R 50-0; D 37-11; I 0-1, 10/17/03, Kerry Voted Nay)  Was it, I voted for it before I voted against it? Or was it I voted against before I voted for it or was I in Hollywood that day receiving botox injections and spending time at the Beverly Hills tanning salon?

as you can see every political position on this war on terror is covered by John F. Kerry.  His mastery of being everything to all voters should have us all feeling climatically satisfied and fulfilled.  What more could we ask for?  We've demanded all our positions and views be established, recognized and addressed- Kerry has completed this very well. 

a part of our war on terror has been the Patriot act.  John F. Kerry has this one covered too.  Pro- Patriot act?  So is John Kerry, Kerry voted for the Patriot act. The Patriot act was passed nearly unanimously by the Senate 98-1, and 357-66 in the House. (H.R. 3162, CQ Vote #313: Passed 98-1: R 49-0; D 48-1; I 1-0, 10/25/01, Kerry Voted Yea)  John Kerry even used to defend his vote, "Most of [The Patriot act] has to do with improving the transfer of information between CIa and FBI, and it has to do with things that really were quite necessary in the wake of what happened on September 11th." (Sen. John Kerry, Remarks at Town Hall Meeting, Manchester, NH, 8/6/03).

anti- Patriot act?  John Kerry stands behind you on this one, too.  Now Kerry attacks the Patriot act, "We are a nation of laws and liberties, not of a knock in the night. So it is time to end the era of John ashcroft. That starts with replacing the Patriot act with a new law that protects our people and our liberties at the same time. I've been a District attorney and I know that what law enforcement needs are real tools not restrictions on american's basic rights." (Sen. John Kerry, Remarks at Iowa State University, 12/1/03)

Politically speaking, all of those who are voting for Sen. John F. Kerry should actually be feeling cheated, raped, abused and used.  How can any gullible supporter of Kerry and Edwards deny they've bought into the biggest pimp'in political operation of skewed and screwed platforms in political history? are Kerry/Edwards supporters really all low self esteemed abuse victims that have bought anything their "lovers" wanted them to buy into?  The lying and cheating spouse who says and does anything to keep their oppressive, elitist, French thumb upon their partners heads is just who some of you are voting for on Election Day.  You've let yourselves become the victims of  what should now and forever be termed "Political Karma Sutra,"  any candidate running for an office who takes all positions on any given subject is literally screwing all their followers. 

Don't stand, sit or turn your back on John F. Kerry if he's elected to serve as our president for too long. You never know what position he'll try using on you and the damage done may be irreparable to our nation.

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