Democrats, Republicans, final submission
The railway car from Compiegne
By John Burtis
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Shortly before the new Democratic Congress is sworn in, a huge, new, C-17 transport plane will depart Le Bourget Airport outside Paris carrying a special cargo, a railroad car, or so the insiders say.
The copy of the famed railway car from Compienge, where the 1918 Armistice and France's humiliating 1940 surrender were signed, will be gingerly coaxed into the cavernous cargo bay of the huge Globemaster II, which is ultimately headed for a specially prepared siding in Washington, D.C., for the final Republican capitulation to the Democrats. It will be carried out under the watchful eyes of Senator Carl Levin, the new chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, and transmitted for the world to see by CNN, the preferred party broadcast organ.
Sadly, the original wagons lit was destroyed in a bombing raid on Berlin, Germany, where it had been moved by the triumphant Nazis, following their lightning like defeat of the mightiest army in Europe, the proud owners of the latest in military technology, the Maginot Line – the hapless but doughty French.
Not being able to pass the reins of power in the original car was especially galling to Senator John Kerry, the noted Francophile, shrill Bush critic, yachtsman, snowboarder, Sudoku fanatic, and a man whose limitless praise for the common soldier is without foreseeable bounds. He had hoped to use the original car for the ceremony and was described as disheartened upon learning of its past destruction.
Seizing on this surprising turnabout, he quickly blamed America for using its overwhelming military might for the irrational destruction of foreign property, especially that belonging to France, in its mad attempt to win WWII.
"America has again shown itself to be an outlaw nation by destroying valuable French property, which merely happened to be found in the heart of Berlin, by practicing senseless carpet bombing,” the junior Massachusetts senator alternately whined and pontificated. "As your President I would never have authorized the ridiculous wrecking of our allies' railway materiel,” he railed stridently before a gathering of visiting Airbus officials.
The formal capitulation observance will be planned, overseen, and carried out by the triumvirate of Levin, with overall responsibility for the program, who has asked that no graffiti desecrate the sacred environs of the car, Kerry, the noted genius, and John Murtha, who will handle the angles on military decorum, the Abscam outreach, and the attachment of the black crepe to the car and the railings leading to the car, and the signage in both English and Spanish.
The B&O siding, personally selected by Mr. Levin, will enable the Democrats to sit with their backs to the sun, while the Republican delegation, led by a chastened and humbled President Bush, will file in from the Democrat's right and face the setting sun through shade-less windows to the lilting sounds of Frank Sinatra's Fly Me to the Moon.
In a special touch, Mr. Levin has ordered the Capitol police at the door seize the eyeglasses from all the entering Republicans, forcing them to ask for help from Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Reid, the leading members of the Democratic legation, to read the declaration to them, if needed, and in finding the proper lines to sign.
Honest John Murtha, fresh from his victory over Diana Irey in Pennsylvania, will shake every Republican's hand at the door, in a rapid two handed pumping motion, both coming and going. And every passing person will notice Congressman Murtha's new spicy and nose clearing cologne, Jade East, which he is now sporting as a direct result of his motion for retreat to Okinawa or Guam being carried by popular acclaim in the newly reconstituted House.
Following the completion of the ceremony, the new Democratic leadership, it is now reliably rumored, will be asking Jacques Chirac for permission to purchase the now triply famous railway car, for inclusion in the Smithsonian Museum's section on American transportation, because it will have enabled the progressives, leftists, the anti-war crowd, felons, the dead, and Democrats to clear the tracks for socialism and military retreat.
And the railroad car from Compiegne will travel to the Smithsonian on an open military flat-bed truck with flashing yellow lights, adorned with enormous illuminated photos of the new Democratic leaders, at a stately pace, accompanied by the sounds of heavy drums.
You see, for the new Democrats, abject and total humiliating surrender, must be a part of the changing of the guard in January, to insure that the Republicans, the military, and the nation get off on the left foot.
A clear signal must be sent to al Qaeda, Hezbollah, Hamas, Iran, Syria, Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, Bolivia, Cuba, the UN, and Nicaragua that their allies have returned to power and that the old heedless administration has been swept from power.
What better way is there than to use the old railway car from Compiegne with all of its accumulated baggage?
The Democratic congressional leadership has already approved a cenotaph and the plaque to be erected on the site of the ceremony to explain the world shattering importance of the activities which took place on the B&O siding, in 2007, in the railway car which had already changed the world twice before. It is said to rival that at Trinity Site, or was it Jackass Flats, which recalls the first A-Bomb.
And sometime in the near future, the Islamist victors will dynamite the Smithsonian and free the dusty wagons lit, just like the German engineers did in June of 1940, and return that venerable railroad car from Compiegne to the tracks in Washington, to enable that future Democratic administration to surrender to the Caliphate.
John Burtis is a former Broome County, NY firefighter, a retired Santa Monica, CA, police officer. He obtained his BA in European History at Boston University and is fluent in German. He resides in NH with his wife, Betsy. John Burtis can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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