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Osama likes CNN

Somewhere in a cave, Osama bin Laden is celebrating

By John Lillpop

Thursday, November 9, 2006

Osama bin Laden reportedly gets CNN on the TV in his cave. It is rumored that the brutal terrorist prefers CNN to aljazeera because the later is too objective and "pro-west" in its coverage. With the exception of Wolfe Blitzer, OBL sees CNN as the terrorist's choice for news—unfair and unbalanced to america, Israel and infidels in general.

It is a safe bet than Osama knew the results of Tuesday's elections very early in the evening, probably at least two or three hours before President Bush knew. That is just one of the advantages of being "in" with the maestros at the Zogby Poll service. John Zogby reportedly sent text messages to Osama every time a race was decided, and gave OBL a personal live call once the Democrats achieved majority status in the U.S. House.

Osama bin Laden immediately sent a congratulatory e-mail to Nancy Pelosi. OBL said the following to the newly elected Speaker of the U.S. House:

Dear Ms. Pelosi,

Praise be to allah!

We have learned that allah has delivered the U.S. House from the clutches of that evil infidel—George W. Bush—and into the hands of those who will accept the complete domination of Islam in america.

We know that eliminating your Constitution and other secular, Christian laws will take time. Because of the complexities involved, we are prepared to wait 60 days before demanding that Islam become the law, and the only law, in america.

That means that by January 7, 2007, we would expect to see Islam fully installed in america.

Praise be to allah!

We were concerned that you might be unable or unwilling to surrender that quickly. We now understand that you have been working with this goal in mind for several years now.

We ask that, for obvious reasons, Dianne Feinstein, Joe Libeman, and Charles Schumer be excluded from any formal proceedings.

One last bit of information is vital: Be advised that all females in your U.S. Congress will be required to wear appropriate burkha face wear from this date forward. No exceptions.

Praise be to allah!

also, as of January 7, 2007, there shall be no females allowed in your capitol city of Washington, D.C. In addition, we have been advised that your party is infested with people like Barney Frank and other "girly-men."

all such individuals, regardless of party affiliation or seniority, must be stoned to death before January 7.

Thanking you and Howard Dean in advance, I remain sincerely yours.

Praise be to allah!

OBL.

Well, there you go. and who said Nancy Pelosi was too nave to be Speaker of the U.S. House?


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