Four Day Gala

Nancy Pelosi's Modest Coronation Plans

By John Lillpop

Monday, December 18, 2006

Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, Democrat from California, has big, expensive plans for commemorating her ascension to the head of the "People's House" in early January.

Indeed, the bug-eyed lady from San Francisco has slated a four-day gala of pomp and circumstance that will make the installation of Pope Benedict XVI by the Vatican seem absolutely skimpy by comparison. 

To begin with, the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce and Labor Council delegation of 50 people will be jetting back East to participate in the first coronation of a queen in American history—excepting only the first swearing-in ceremony for Barney Frank several years ago.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom plans to be in Washington, D.C., as well, and this icon of decency and rule of law will perform emergency weddings for any same sex couples that just cannot wait.  Provide proof that you voted Democrat in at least five successive elections, and Da Mayor will throw in an autographed picture of Mark Foley at no extra charge.

Former state Senate President Pro-Tem John Burton, who also served in the House and is one of Pelosi's closest political advisers, will travel to Washington.  Burton's role will be to certify and notarize, for posterity, the official turnover of America to the enemy.

The main event is scheduled for noon on January 4, when the U.S. House meets to elect Pelosi in a formal process expected to take several hours.  On the evening of January 4, Pelosi will be honored at a concert/fundraiser for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee.  Admittance will be pricey, at $15,000.

The steep ticket price was necessary to keep the party's base—homeless bums, drug addicts, welfare cheats, convicted felons, illegal aliens, et al.--from crashing.  Therefore, an "entertainment tax" of $14,999 per ticket seemed to make perfect sense, at least from a warped liberal perspective.

On the morning of January 5, Pelosi will be the host for a "People's House'' event in the historic Cannon Caucus Room across from the Capitol.  She will spend an hour or two meeting and greeting anyone who wants to line up to say hello—excepting, of course, Republicans and miscreants from the party base as identified above.

After that, it is simply a matter of time until Pelosi and Harry Reid, her co-conspirator in the U.S. Senate, ruin America's economy, military, foreign policy, space program, and funnel any remaining funds in the U.S. treasury to poor illegal aliens from Mexico.

Still, this is the will of the people.  Right?