What Did I Just See

By Jim Whelan

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I got home from my three-week excursion around the Mediterranean Sea and decided to lay on the couch and close my eyes. Sometime later I awoke and looked at the television.

I couldn't quite put a handle on it, but I was watching somebody in black underwear dancing somewhere. I put the sound on, and all I could make out was someone saying "Gimme, or Gimme more, baby."

Then I thought, "That girl is kinda fat for that outfit."

Then everything got screwed up, and the moves didn't match the voice, and then it dawned on me.

Britney Spears!

What a mess!

What she needs is somebody to tell her what a friggin' disaster she is. I mean I don't want to see chicks with a beer gut wheezing to songs on stage in Vegas, or wherever this was. I mean this was enough to make you gag.

Now I wouldn't recommend this to just anyone, but I know who can cure her.

Madonna.

When the world's top sleazebag speaks, Britney will listen. And if she doesn't, Madonna can kick the you-know-what out of her. As many times as it takes. Britney ought to be ashamed that old Madge, (at 50+) looks better than she does at 25. But it's true.

Madonna may be a sleazebag, but at least she knows how to dress herself, and she doesn't eat Taco Bell 3 times a day.

Britney, baby, the money won't last forever.

Get yourself together while there is still time.

From the big saddle,
Jim Whelan