Now that the furor over making Quebec-born actor William Shatner the next governor general of Canada has ended, it’s time to move on. We still need someone to replace the outgoing Michaelle Jean.
Although Shatner was never a serious candidate with the prime minister and other government members, thousands of people signed up on Facebook to support the appointment of the actor to the vice regal post. Shatner has stated that he doesn’t want the job although he would like to be the prime minister of Canada.
Just as well. Shatner’s appointment would mean he would be the second consecutive Quebecker to be governor general and we all know how the ROC (rest of Canada) feels whenever La Belle Province gets two in a row of anything. Being good Canadians means alternating.
Another reason for nixing the possible appointment is that Shatner, like many other Canadian actors who headed south and made good, got his start with the CBC. That would make him the third governor general in a row that had a connection to Mother Corp. That threepeat in itself would be too much for the Harper Conservatives.
But since Shatner doesn’t want the job and there is no clear nominee in sight, perhaps one of the actor’s characters could become the next Queen’s representative in Canada. The obvious character that comes to mind is of course Captain James T. Kirk. But having Kirk ensconced in Rideau Hall would be problematic. Having spent his professional life going where no man has gone before at warp speed, the starship captain would not be a good fit with the present Canadian government. This is a government that introduces tough-on-crime legislation, prorogues Parliament, reintroduces the same tough-on-crime legislation and then prorogues again. Captain Kirk would be restricted to crawling around where every man has gone before.
Besides, we currently have a minority government. Despite the position of the government if Capt. Kirk were to come to Canada permanently it would only be a matter of time before the taxpayers had to shell out for a multi-billion dollar phaser registry. And even after Kirk warped out of Canada for good, we would still be paying for it. If it only saves one life and all that.
At a minimum, a governor general should have good judgment and common sense. Kirk however, spent his entire career visiting different galaxies and having sex with beautiful women that turned out to be giant lizards. The captain is hardly what we should be looking for in a head of state.
Anyone who has watched Boston Legal is familiar with Shatner’s character, Denny Crane. Crane would make an excellent governor general of Canada. Crane, the head of a large prestigious Boston law firm, Crane Poole and Schmidt, is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Now what could be more diverse and therefore more Canadian that giving the most prestigious political appointment in the country to a person with a mental disability?
Everyone who has watched the show can picture Governor General Crane walking into a room full of dignitaries and shouting, “ I’m Denny Crane; Denny Crane; I’m the Governor General of Canada”. Crane would put Canada back on the world stage if indeed the country was ever on it in the first place.
And if Governor General Crane did something really dumb, like take 2,000 of his closest friends circumpolaring, whatever that is, at the taxpayers’ expense he would just point to his head and say “mad cow”. No scandal. No fuss. The media would just accept it and get back to their real job which is reporting the latest rumours about Helena Guergis and Rahim Jaffer.
Shatner is out, not that he was ever seriously in. But there’s always hope for Denny.
