As you may have noticed, democracy ain’t anymore what it used to be. From “smart meters” and engineered brownouts, to anything else supposedly “good for you,” new rules abound.
Laws
More laws and regulations - all the time. Some 40,000+ new laws and regulations came into effect in 2012, in the USA alone. Who, among the ordinary, law-abiding citizens could possibly keep up with it all? Between the Federal Register (68,000+ pages at three columns each in 2011), and countless city, county, and state ordinances, you could probably spend a lifetime just reading all the new rules you need to know for your own protection and benefit – of this year alone.
From the nutritional value of your kid’s school lunch to the curvature of bananas, it has all been described and proscribed in detail. I still think we need some regulatory guidance on the bananas’ taste and color as well!
“Smart” Hydro
With the older style of hydro meters you could easily see how fast you were burning up the electrons, simply by watching how fast the wheel was turning. With the new “smart meters”, no such luck. It keeps blinking with several sets of numbers, but does not tell you the rate of consumption. The more sinister part, however, is that you can no longer determine your actual cost in advance.
While it used to be a simple calculation of energy (KWH) used times cost per KWH, plus a fixed fee, now the cost is computed the “smart” way. That is, it varies by the time of day, day of week, and a slew of other variables.
Depending on the area you live in, such additional and variable costs can include additional charges when your overall consumption per month is outside a certain threshold number, cost of delivery, debt retirement charges (not your debt, the hydro company’s debt), why you used it (I’m kidding, perhaps), use of “green” methods to create the energy, voltage adjustment surcharges, various taxes, and more.
Even if you had a super computer, you could no longer calculate your final cost in advance, for the reason that you can’t know at the time of use many of the variables going into the equation. But rest assured, it will all become apparent once you see your next bill.
In future, the new, “smart” household appliances will even allow the hydro company, or the government, to turn off your appliance when they think that you use too much juice. But it is strictly for your own good, and that of the new “smart” grid.
Bananas
I’d like to get back to bananas though. In the European Union, there really was such a law which describes the bananas’ permissible curvature. However, it’s yet to be defined what makes them palatable; presumably that is just a temporary lack of regulation, and some friends may have their own opinion about bananas and curvature, but I will not dwell on that.
While the nutritional value of bananas is somewhat limited, the Nutrition Data website claims they are good for you because of low levels of saturated fat, cholesterol and sodium and their content of dietary fiber, vitamins C and B6, potassium and manganese. I guess though, only if they are of the right shape.
So, if you are still uncertain about to calculate your hydro bill from the form of your bananas, don’t worry. Just forget about the hydro, peel yourself a banana and listen to Harry Belafonte’s rendition of “Banana Boat” – just be mindful of the curvature.
