--Satire--
Believe it or not, the real cause of the “global warming,” pardon, “climate change” problem has been found. A new modeling study by British scientists claims that “giant dinosaurs could have warmed the planet with their flatulence“ (BBC Nature News).
Methane
Dinosaurs died out some 60 million years ago but let’s not get lost in details here. If the winds of a few million dinosaurs could have been a key factor in the warm climate 100 million years ago, just imagine what a few billion cows, pigs, and bipeds can do to the atmosphere today.
The problem is ascribed to methane, the most common constituent of natural gas. The dinosaurs emitted too much of it but it’s not their fault either. Rather it’s that of rogue microbes which lived in the dinosaurs guts and produced the methane.
It is also well known that methane in the globe’s atmosphere has increased much more than carbon dioxide. In fact, over the last one hundred years, the methane concentration in the air more than doubled from less than 1000 ppb (parts per billion) to near 2000 ppb (or 0.0002%). In comparison, carbon dioxide levels increased only 30% over that time to 0.04%.
The problem is clear and the science is settled. Methane is the new villain. What can you do about it?
Need Law against Flatulence
Obviously this needs some political action. I’m convinced EPA would have no problem elevating methane to the status of “dangerous pollutant.” That could lead to a whole new way of taxation. For example, a charge of one dollar per event would be a good start. Repeat offenders could be charged more. Such a scheme might just solve the national budget deficit in a hurry.
I suggest you write to your political representative. Possibly the legislators could be induced to pass -- no pun intended -- a law against flatulence.
