Hugh, son of the late I. Will Betcha—a Mormon missionary—was, like his friend, born in Kenya and spent his early childhood there. That one grew up to be President and the other a world renown reporter, was one of life’s amazing coincidences. Even more so considering that the President was not born in the U. S.—a fact they both laughed about privately whenever they got together.
Leaving Stoos Views International Media Conglomerate Headquarters in sunny Wynstone, South Dakota—where the air is clean, the crime rate low and the people vote red—Hugh hopped aboard the corporate jet and headed to D.C. to meet his old buddy.
As Hugh entered the Oval Office he was unprepared for what came next. A film crew was busily packing up and hauling out camera equipment, lights and extension cords, electronic gear of all sorts and what appeared to be a makeup table of some sort. Sitting behind the presidential desk, the President—dressed in desert BDU camo—was busy wiping green and brown paint off his face with one hand as he gulped down a beer with the other hand. Pointing to the cooler next to his desk the President told Hugh, “Have one.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” replied Hugh as he settled into an overstuffed chair. “But wassup with the fatigues, Dude?”
“Oh, just shooting a little documentary,” the President grinned like the Cheshire cat.
“About?” Hugh asked.
“My Special Ops in Pakeeestan,” replied the President accentuating the nonexistent long “e’ as was his habit. “It’s why you are here.”
“You mean the Seals operation that took out Bin Laden?”
“Well,” the President replied coyly “yeah they were there too….”
“Meaning?”
“The Seals were there for window dressing. I took a couple dozen of them along for backup. I wanted to get that bastard and this was the only way to be sure it was done right.”
“Don’t tell me…..”
“Yes, I killed Bin Laden.”
Nonplussed, Hugh stared for a moment at the ceiling trying to grasp the truth that few were privy to.
“But you were sitting in the White House looking intently at a TV monitor….”
“….Photo shopped, that is all...had to make it look good for the public. The bad guys must not know when I go on these ops you know. In reality I was thousands of miles away kicking posterior.”
“Are you telling me then…”
“…Yeah I shot Bin Laden—mano a mano—after grappling with him a few seconds. Bang, you’re dead...in and out in four minutes—just like that. What a rush! Makes me wish I had gone into the service instead of smoking weed and snorting blow with my homies on the corner.”
“So you made a movie?”
“Well, not me really—someone else thought it was a good idea—one of those Super PAC things you know. I have no control over it….But it was fun working with Sly.”
“Sly?”
“Stallone—you know. He stars as my pilot and flies the chopper from which I rappelled just before I dispatched that dude.”
“Why him?”
“Well, just like me, he was never a real soldier, but likes to play one on TV.”
“And the name?”
“Ramboma—How The President Killed Bin Laden…Cool, huh?”
“Way cool,” Hugh replied as he raised his Bud Light in a toast.”When will it run?”
“Oh, August of 2012 sometime.”
“You mean, just three months before the Presidential election?”
“Coincidence,” replied the President as he reached for another Bud Light and lit a Marlboro. “Pure coincidence.”
“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”
Another Exclusive Report by Hugh Betcha
© 2012 William Kevin Stoos for CANADA FREE PRESS
It was supposed to be another social call, this meeting between Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha and his old friend Barry Obama. Hugh, recently named “Most Admired Conservative 2012” by MSNBC, a man who walks with kings and princes and has easy access to both sides of the aisle in Congress, got a call from his friend, inviting him ostensibly for a beer at the White House—as they often did.
