FLAKY JACK’S PLATFORM
Dear Editor:
UTOPIA!
By William Bedford
It’s Jack Layton, not Stephen Harper, who should be mad at the media. If the media gave as much coverage to Jack as they do to Harper, the voter turnout would explode.
Here’s a peek at the NDP platform which the media ignores:
1) Cut income taxes by 40%, and abolish the GST. 2) Provide a doctor, nurse and therapist for every 100 patients.
3) Introduce free dental care, prescription drugs and daily massages.
4) Award an affordable house with a two-car-garage for all low-income families
5) Provide shelter, food, clothing, lottery tickets and dance lessons for the homeless.
6) Provide prisons with more entertainment and sports to rehabilitate basically good prisoners like Paul Bernardo.
7) Distribute free video games and designer clothes to street gangs so they’ll quit their mugging ways. 
abolish automobile and house insurance.
9) Introduce a 30-hour workweek with double time for overtime.
10) Triple the minimum wage and double Employment Insurance benefits.
11) Double welfare payments; and include a chocolate bunny for Easter, a turkey for Thanksgiving and “Holiday Tree” for Christmas.
12) Allow optional retirement with full benefits at age 45.
13) Give new parents two years paid maternity/paternity leave.
14) Limit class sizes to 10 students.
15) Unionize the Boy Scouts and Girl Guides.
16) Invite the Osama bin Laden gang to an international barbecue and rap session to map out a scenario for brotherly love.
17) turn the Canadian military into a U.N. approved peace-corps.
18) Import all our citrus fruits and juices from Cuba and pay for it with oil.
19) Open our doors to Mexican illegals in the U.S. 20) Grant asylum to all U.S. Army deserters.
Where, you ask, would Jack -flash get the mountain of scratch to fund his Utopia? Simple: Sell Alberta to the U.S. for trillions of dollars.
Now, tell me, how could anyone with a smidgen of common sense not vote for all this, not to mention the bonus of having Canada’s most charismatic couple fronting for us on the world scene.
