ayuh, the left's premier field commanders, Nancy Pelosi, the woman who would be Speaker at the moment of victory, and Howard Dean, who will return to the sodden comfort of his ordure peppered Green Mountain pastures, come victory or defeat, have launched their dual summer armored offensives on the wide open fruited plains in the vast Democratic drive on the creaking ramshackle houses of the holy--Congress and the White House.
Taking a line this V-E Day from a previous loser in the great game of life, both were heard to mutter that after a spate of massive frontal attacks of only a few weeks duration, they'd only need to kick in the front door and the whole rotten Republican edifice would come tumbling down around them.
To insure that this victory message reaches all the units in the field, from the encampments on the Connecticut River to those weary war protestors on the fields of Crawford, from the rows of soggy abandoned yellow school busses in New Orleans to the millions of illegal immigrants in the day labor marts of Los angeles, Nancy gassed it up last week out of all proportions with her Bodyguard of Lies, while Howard Dean laid it on the line with Clinton's former comedic genius, Boy George, on Sunday, where he yawped his War of the Words.
Pelosi has planned her Central Front offensive on a number of strategic targets, and has promised "to use the power to investigate" as a key theater of operations--in going after Cheney in the energy realm, especially concerning the membership on his highly illusive and dangerous energy "task force", after the President for the pre-war intelligence and the conduct of the war and, in a final all out thrust, on the whole weapons of mass destruction-Joe Wilson-Valerie Plame-Saddam-yellow cake, axis of advance.
On the Southern Front, Howard Dean, who is often seen at the front with his troops attired in his usual get up of rolled up shirt sleeves, goggles, binoculars and a cocky fore and aft cap, has slammed his attack home for days, culminating with his last great hot malarkey toss with Mr. Stephanopoulos.
In fact, General Dean appears to be advancing at high speed, generating enormous plumes of summer dust from his wedges of clanking vehicles.
and he's promising to create new jobs that'll stay in america, balance the war time budget, make sure that every living person in america, illegals and all, and maybe some dead, have good health insurance, that there'll be honesty and openness in government, an end to corruption, that he'll get us real ethics legislation in a 100 days and they'll be no more free trips and no more nonsense, there'll be no more hand outs to big oil and HMO's, that he'll balance the budget, except for the 80% of americans who are struggling, and it's time to stop beating up the honest secret leaking professional ideologues at the CIa and use their intelligence for good use.
and boy, he's forging ahead on all cylinders and standing up straight in his three-axle Mercedes Benz, holding onto the windshield with both hands, as his growing caravan of camp followers churns ever deeper into enemy territory, righting every possible wrong, and hating Bush in ever greater volume and intensity.
But will this new two-pronged, media hyped, hate driven summer assault, with the old Democratic von Schlieffen Plan work its magic this time around?
Will america, who holds Congress in low esteem and the Democrats even lower, fall for these base attempts to paint rotten wood a darker color of brown?
It's hard to say.
But as the dull gray plodding mass of Democratic might moves ever deeper inland, slowly evaporating in the vast expanses of Red america much as Napoleon's Grand army disappeared in the huge land mass of Russia, the sniping at the edges will increase, the partisanship will intensify, the vast numbers of deserters whom Pelosi and Dean are counting on fill out their thinning ranks may not materialize, and as the overwhelming victory which always appears over every hill slips fatrher away, the Democratic might of early spring may be slowly squandered on the dusty ground of late summer.
The last great battle on the american steppes is brewing, with a seemingly relentless Democratic flood reaching for an embattled General Michael Hayden, who will face the gums of august, as victory hangs in the balance.
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