By John Burtis
Friday, august 18, 2006
So much for the long sought cease fire for the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict, as the initial high hopes for success first became forlorn, then rapidly sank into pantomime, then quickly degenerated into high camp, finally ending in a denouement of epic proportions.
It appears that France has decided, or will decide, or has chosen to decide, or perhaps will decide real soon, that their mighty peacekeeping force — once thought to be numbered in the tens of thousands and to include crack armored and Foreign Legion parachutists, as promised to President Bush and to Secretary of State Rice - will now only include perhaps as many as 200 conscripted social "engineers" and a few officers.
and the French, in the guise of Mr. Jacques Chirac, their intrepid leader, mouthpiece, and foremost cuirassier, will no longer deign to engage Hezbollah if they are fired upon, leaving this onerous and repellent task, this hated response, this all too shabby a plenary duty, to the blue helmeted minions of the UN, which are being assembled under the strong and resolute gaze of their intrepid leader and warlord — Kofi annan the Great, Sharif of the Riffian Berbers, Defender of the Innocent, Protector of the Faithful, Field Marshal of the Blue, and present holder of the Collar of the annunziata, among his many brilliant awards for bravery, leadership, and for the dodging of numerous prosecutions for corrupt practices.
But Mr. Kofi, as he is known to his closest friends and associates, whom he allows to call him by his common name and allows to forsake his many honorific titles and tribal appellations, has so far failed to complete any number of the tasks which he must accomplish in order to make any UN force viable in the carrying out of UN Resolution 1701.
Yes, Kofi the Great, and his paladin on the Saladin, Mark Malloch-Brown the Magnificent, have yet to assemble any troops, to promulgate any guidelines, and, of course, to spell out any rules of engagement whatsoever for the blue bereted troopers under their command. The latter, of course, are especially key should any of the countless thousands of wise and humble members of the International atomic Brotherhood of Hezbollah choose to abrogate the ceasefire, again, and begin directing their Katyusha rockets, Fajr-5 missiles, anti-tank missiles, B-40 rockets, and small arms fire at the boyos in blue.
But fear not, boys and girls, Kofi and Mr. Brown are on the job and said to be just weeks and perhaps many months away from completing their complicated tasks.
Mr. annan is winding up his automobile shopping, finishing up that tendentitious autobiography of Mr. Clinton, and is completing his swing through the shops on Madison avenue.
Mr. Mark Malloch-Brown has just finished perusing road maps of middle america, getting his bearings for his next cheek puffing diatribe on this mysterious hinterland where some people still question his sanity, the reason why criminals like those involved in Oil for Food at the UN are still allowed sanctuary in the US, and he continues to wonder why the outwardly doltish are actually allowed to listen to O'Reilly and Limbaugh.
So, now the French are backing out on their promised word as fast as they can say, "Monsieur Jacques Robinson," Jacques Chirac is back pedaling faster than Emmett Kelly look alike's can in the latest iteration of the Ringling Bros. circus, while the UN is as feckless as those two great stumbling prosecutors, Mike Nifong and Patrick Fitzgerald, and the UN's two top leaders are as empty of original ideas as a Ward Churchill treatise on ancient Indian lore.
While all of this international folderol, tommyrot, and the open bootlicking of Hezbollah's dirty sandals has frightened the dickens out of the French and the UN, Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts, fresh from his latest fact finding trip deep inside the death dealing Tip O'Neill Tunnel, has offered his secret e-mail list to Ned Lament, of the Nutmeg State, to raise funds for the anti-war Democrat.
and Mr. Lament, a successful businessman with a tremendous inheritance, after stating that he is a fiscally conservative Democrat - who, apparently, only believes the oft repeated lines about stringent national health care, anti-capitalism, central planning, increased taxes, further reductions in the military, retreat abroad, windfall profits taxes, crackdowns on SUV drivers, the rigid enforcement of "choice," retreat at home, for purely political reasons — said a gracious thanks to Mr. Kerry, and vowed to cut and run from Iraq as soon as humanly possible, leaving the field to Iran, a country, he steadfastly admits, he knows absolutely nothing about. But such is the way of retreat in leading liberal and progressive circles today. a retreat that Mr. Kerry likens to the retreat Mr. Chirac breathlessly embraces.
Yes, there's plenty of retreat going around for everybody, from the French, to the oh so French Mr. Kerry, to Mr. Kerry's latest clone, Mr. Ned Lament, and on down to Kofi annan, Field Marshal and warlord, and to his personal valet, lackey, and coat holder, Mr. Mark Malloch-Brown, who never retreated before a terrorist he didn't like, nor indicated anything other than a retrograde maneuver when faced by a member of Hezbollah.
Yep, the French have broken their word, the UN can't get things together, Hezbollah won't be giving up their weapons anytime soon and I'm a little surprised that Condi Rice bit on that old UN candy bar. The one where they claim, for the 723rd time, that they can pull it together with the French in the top slot and get something done, militarily, and then do it in a time specific before we all grow old and before Iran, Syria, North Korea, Cuba, Venezuela, and Hezbollah finally have nuclear weapons.
But I'm a dreamer, while Mr. Chirac, Mr. annan, Mr. Buster Brown, and Mr. Kerry are hard nosed Western recreants.
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