By John Burtis
Friday, October 27, 2006
The doctors are reporting on the state of the liberal press and there's no good news in sight.
Even as chinks appear in the once pristine and shiny granite edifice of the Democratic coup d'etat once seen approaching on every glittering radar scope, there is growing evidence surfacing in the final few weeks before E-Day that it all may be a close run thing and not a cake walk.
Once eager walk on members of a seemingly assured House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's staff-in-waiting are now demanding no-cut contracts with bonus clauses just for hanging around in the interim. They see smoke on the tinder dry Democratic hillsides. Too much smoke to cloak with stock phrases of the coming victory.
There are, you see, a few signs of left wing calamity, overlooked in the surviving radical mouthpieces.
a short while ago, air america, the liberals' aM radio crie de coeur, began to accelerate its dive into the depths of the Bermuda Triangle with the announcement that it was seeking bankruptcy protection under Chapter 11.
Despite the years of nonstop vitriol it launched into the reclining troposphere in the name of liberalism, the progressive press is taking little notice of its approaching demise.
Even Mr. al Franken, its checkered comedic founder, who also takes prolonged swims in the Sargasso Sea, isn't paying much attention to the headlong swan dive the fading hate machine is so painfully completing before its dwindling number of jaded progressive listeners, who seem to be decamping in droves lately from all the slavish mouthpieces. It is now said that Smiling al swims with his wallet in his front pocket.
The New York Times, and their tottering media empire, now on full life support courtesy of Pinch Sulzberger's sterling stewardship, anchored in Boston by the venerable, execrable, and equally waning Boston Globe, has seen profits disappear with the same rapidity that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is said to have blabbed when confronted with an open desk drawer and a burly Green Beret rattling two large ball bearings in his hand.
Then Katie Couric, the perky darling of the morning English tea set, whose beautiful people tip-toe around the kitchen in their Lanz sleeping ensembles getting their beautiful children ready for their progressive schools, began her own crash dive in the evening ratings after it became abundantly clear that she just, well, isn't worth a tinker's damn as a real newscaster. Where else can you watch someone so painfully out of depth read such utter rubbish to us except every weekday evening on CBS?
and now I tearfully, sobbingly learn that MSNBC, the most singularly strident of the outright hogwash peddling group of ne'er-do-wells available on cable today, save for the openly Democratic officials perpetually on loan to the egg beaters at CNN, is facing another series of terrifying lay-offs -- perish the bloody thought.
But MSNBC has weathered their fair share of tsunamis in the past, which has winnowed down the network to a hard core of red arm band wearing hammer and sickle waving progressive faithful, who still cheer for Lenin at Spartan lunchtimes spent over black bread and cabbage soup.
The first earthquake struck MSNBC in December of 2001, when, in order to cut the proverbial escalating costs, the nascent network had to winnow people and 20% of their growing expenses.
Then, on Pearl Harbor Day in 2003, MSNBC reported that they had to dump the free-lancers and day laborers, who received their pink slips as part of "rolling lay-offs at the start of the Yule Tide season."
and now, as NBC noticeably falters, they will lay off some 700 people and give up on their 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. time slots . and as this news struck the liberals, the pressrooms and bathhouses finally fell silent.
as NBC goes, so goes MSNBC, which will lose and move to Manhattan. and some of their key folks, their best talking heads, the finest of the drowning rats, like the vaunted Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman, two of the planets most picaresque of the left-wing savants, may yet move to CNBC, and will be offered small but supposedly operable Mae Wests should the river water rise over there.
and I am aghast at the vile treachery which has befallen the ordure juggling swells remaining at this propaganda manufacturing "network," like Lawrence O'Donnell, Jr. and Joe Scarborough - of that infamous "Scarborough Country" schtick - two of the foremost frauds and scallywags who regularly appear on MSNBC and lie about everything they can, from the Limbaugh-Michael J. Fox caper to Scooter Libby, and on to Sandy Berger's hind and foresight.
and the question arises among the Democrats -- can the good ship Lollipop survive this latest battering? Or will the same illness which is afflicting all the other major progressive pettifoggers -- the growing lack of readers and listeners, and the associated lack of advertising -- finally drive MSNBC into the same death dive as air america?
One by one, all the great liberal lights will follow suit and blink out, like the New York Times, CBS, aBC, CNN, and the Boston Globe, as those twin cancers of apathy and lassitude metastasize and spread.
If the Democrats fail to win their big shot at the power sweepstakes this time around, will they survive the dreaded disease which is eating their wooden marionettes and their vapid mediums at such a rate until the next election cycle?
How many boardrooms may soon hear that echo of Mr. Dean's delicious phrase, that there's a cancer, Mr. President, on the Good Ship Lollipop?
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