By Arthur Weinreb
Monday, January 22, 2007
No, Ontario does not have a pizza parliament in the sense that the term has come to mean. Pizza parliament is a semi-derogatory term used to describe the parliamentary system in Italy (and other countries) where there are so many political parties that it is impossible for any one of them to have a majority and governments fall and elections held in what seems to be every couple of months. Perhaps to our detriment, that is not the way the Ontario government is. We seem to favour majority governments who run roughshod over the population and when an election nears, they bribe us with our own money and hope we forget all about the lies and the broken promises. And it usually works.
Last week, Government Services Minister Gerry Phillips announced that the program that guarantees that birth certificates ordered online will be issued within 15 days or they will be free, will be extended to include marriage and death certificates. Consideration is also being given to including guarantees for the issuance of business licenses and other documents that are provided by the province.
Phillips praised the program and announced that out of 315,000 applications for birth certificates only 121 refunds had to be given. The Minister said, "Pizza Pizza can't come anywhere close to that kind of delivery. We'll just keep looking at additional areas where we can provide this kind of guarantee."
Pizza Pizza is of course a major Canadian pizza franchise that promises delivery in "40 minutes or it's free". It used to be 30 minutes or free until complaints were made about drivers speeding and otherwise driving recklessly through residential neighbourhoods in order to meet their delivery time. The government doesn't have this particular problem, although it is somewhat interesting that they started with birth certificates. As we all known, a false birth certificate is the foundation for building a fraudulent Canadian citizenship. And we wouldn't want the neighbourhood jihadi or other bad guys having to wait too long to build up their false identities. If they do have to wait longer than 15 days, it's nice to know that their refund money will be put to good use.
It's hard to criticize a government program that promises fast action or alternatively refunds money to an already overtaxed populace. But that's what members of the opposition are for. It's what they do. Conservative MP Tim Hudak said, "It's a nice initiative. But a guarantee that would be valued more highly by consumers would be if McGuinty had guaranteed he wouldn't increase taxes." It was a good point but McGuinty did in fact promise that he wouldn't raise taxes, just before he raised them. Good try, Tim.
The crux of the matter is that it is simply a gimmick. While receiving a birth, marriage or death certificate in a timely matter for the person who is ordering one is important at the time, in the general scheme of things it simply not that important. If you have to wait 30 or 60 days for the certificate to arrive then you have to wait. It's hardly life threatening unlike, say, waiting for cancer surgery.
And speaking of life threatening, the government is always going on and on and on about heath care and hospital wait times. If they really want to brag about how quickly and efficiently they can deliver services, let them concentrate on waiting times for health care. Set time limits for medical treatment and if the government can't make it, give the patient a free trip to Boston or somewhere else south of the border in order to obtain treatment paid for by the Ontario government. Now that would be meaningful.
Things could be worse however. Pizza Pizza could try and run their business like a government. Now that would be disastrous.
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