Last week Miami Marlin’s manager Ozzie Guillen told Time magazine that he “loves and respects” Fidel Castro. This week, reacting to outrage by Americans of Cuban heritage (i.e. a huge chunk of Marlin ticket-buyers,) the Marlin’s suspended Guillen for five games. Apparently eager to head-off worse retribution (and damage–control ticket sales) on April 9th a moping Guillen issued a groveling apology at a Miami press Conference.
“I am here on my knees,” he whimpered. “I am here to say I am sorry with my heart in my hands…I hurt a lot of people’s feelings. Now I want to apologize because I did the wrong thing. It was a very stupid comment…If I don’t learn from this mistake, then I will call myself dumb.”