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Canada Free Press 2006 Archives: John Burtis
My final political testament Requiem for a welterweight Schrödinger's senator Down periscope Baker Street peanuts Fulfilling Bubba's destiny Tossing the bounder out of Nelson's Lagoon It's not easy for a dinosaur out here A stitch in time saves nine Time for Major Kong to go downtown White noise The Beaux Deans Promises to keep Tossing Kerry overboard The railway car from Compiegne Adrift in George's wake Democratic cannon fodder Day of days Win one for America Ted Kennedy: Collaborator or Soviet agent? Kerry apology a Karl Rove plant They are expendable A fete too far There's a cancer, Mr. President, on the Good Ship Lollipop Vegemite nonsense Lullaby in dreamland The temptation of Donna Shalala The promised land Cindy Sheehan's friend in need The upcoming Democratic burlesque Don't cry for Cindy, Alfred Nobel Show trials for global warming deniers The wages of Soros Baked Alaska for North Korea Will we survive the Clinton process? If Mark Foley had been from Massachusetts Opera bouffe Cheap shot spotters When push comes to shove The swords and shields of the Democratic Party Bill Clinton's millstone Coal still powers America We could use a dash of Sharia's law around here Theatre of the absurd The compass always points to Bush We're already living under Muslim law Let's cry for Ralph "Bucky" Phillips Treaties on the blood red snow Democrats: Playing "politics" John Kerry: Crisper, stronger Another birthday bash for the hollow man The second scarlet letter The myth of moderates The vicious unbridled censorship of the left Armitage
should become a Democrat Democrats discover a vast new reservoir of revulsion The success of Iranian focus groups The inanity of hate crimes As Hollywood goes, so do the Democrats Et tu, Colin? Eventual understanding opposed to total blindness The epistle of Osama to the Democrats Scooter Libby--The last man standing Richard Armitage--From Camp Powell to High Camp Kofi
Annan--back door man Two
more reasons why we must win the war on terror Another
brick in the wall of appeasement Why won't the left fight terror? Kofi Annan's magic carpet ride A judge's ruling as evidence of collapse The open recreancy of the West 11 down, 12 million to go Chuck
the soccer outlook, let's play football! Are the Democrats playing beach blanket bingo? There is a fifth dimension separating Israel and Lebanon Media in Lebanon – The fevered manufacture of the liberal agenda Reuters–Smoke gets in your eyes Looking for Hermann Göring, finding Sheikh Nasrallah Katie Couric–Death throes of a media dinosaur The brief ugly return of "The Good Old Days" John Kerry--Beyond the limits of botox Drunks say the darndest things Meet future Senator Al Franken from the North Star State The UN has loosed the Affenpinschers of war Howard Dean is losing his mind, and it ain't pretty Kofi Annan could have saved blue helmets Mr. Smallweed declares war on Hezbollah Jesse Jackson and the power of the press Hoppy the Kangaroo plugging for Democratic candidates The Mullah's man in the West A father's final surrender Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio CNN discovers Ward Churchill is managing their newsroom Country Joe and the Dish The law of quid pro quo First due at Doc Bartha's The Rodhams' Big-Top pee-wees Stop calling me filthy rich, I'm just a Kulak! The thousand malevolent faces of George Bush The Big Dig — The ongoing construction of the Clinton legacy Riding the dog with Hillary Joe Biden's gone off the reservation Free watermelons for Mr. Washington We should've employed Rule 223 Pinch–Your name is Quisling Jack Tars and Commodores Concrete diving Who will wear the robe and crown? Chang and Eng have risen from the dead Pardon me all to hell There's a bug in John Murtha's head It's time to end the publishing cake walk The WMD shell game at the New York Times What, the Old Man isn't diverse enough? Casting for a legacy, Bill Clinton style What kind of fool do they think I am Wanted: Dead and Alive Flag Day–My mother's favorite holiday Frog marching isn't pretty Enter Nancy from the lower house Make a new plan, Stan, drop off the key, Lee Don't cry for us Pinch, Kofi and John Kerry Democrats–Who'll be the next in line for heartache? UN — The last refuge of scoundrels Zarqawi, the left–Never give a sucker an even break Alan and Shelly–Two nits in a toupee Kennedy Boys–The Nutone Kids Theon Johnson- Living on the Katrina FEMA dole, waiting for a buy out The Klintonburg descending — Oh, the humanity John Murtha–First the guilty verdict, then the trial Al Gore, Pinch Sulzberger–Welsh rarebit, Drums along the Wallkill Ernest S. Youngs--A man for all seasons John, Hillary--Hunting the illusive felons John Kerry--a briefcase, a dirty cap, maps Hugo Chavez–Ask not for whom the phone rings, it rings for thee John Kerry: 9 big tomatoes in a tiny little can The
Three Mesquiteers William Jefferson--Midnight at the oasis, put the camel to bed Al and Hillary–Clash of the Titans America – Will they still love her in the morning America — Last call for the rule of law The people who were Thursday FBI-Looking for Hoffa in all the wrong places The US Senate--A confederacy of dunces Bill Clinton: Soupy sales from the man down under Lawrence Tribe — Getting ready for the Fuckawi Race Midnight in the garden of Moe and Curley Magnetic field changes, men falling flat Hillary: Bad news on Mother's Day Don't you know who I am? If they were expendable, then so are we The Rise and Fall of the Frist Reach John Kerry — The hubris of a billionaire's self defense fund Dean and Pelosi - The Gums of August Am I Three , men, or are we supermen? Two states, two states of mind Patrick Kennedy- Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, Goooo Harry Reid calls on the clown posse for back up Six billion species soon to be extinct, I'm sayin' Ted and Arlen's excellent adventure Oaths of office–easy come, easy go What's good for Cunningham's gander is good for McCarthy's goose Don't Bogart that channel, my friend May Day preparations in the big nowhere Brother, can you spare me a c-note Chuck Schumer: Cry the beloved country Tony Snow, White House press corps, angst Not in Ted's back pond: How they learned to stop worrying and love Iran Mary McCarthy: The hypocrisy of John Kerry: Please help him, he's falling Hillary's Fountain of Loot Wheel of fortune They're on the barricades together Waiting for the second bomb Willy Loman on acid Signs of the times Pickpockets are stealing our flag They're coming undone Dirty Pool After the fox from the easy chair Polishing the apple, dusting the pumpkin May Day and reverse Polish notation The whole world in her hands Any port in a storm The girl's all left Senseless in Marblehead MoveOn.Al The Iranians are upping the ante The Howard and Mike Show The unseen bravery of the few A perk too far Parsing the plan Carnival barkers Tailor-made Backbone Storm Surges Hello Piccadilly Under pressure For those in peril Power of Babble Don't Ask Gun fight March hares Colors No way out Counterfeit TV Let Pluto do the walking The deep end Don't mine me Class clowns Imaginary friend Down the drain Vanishing Point The Captain's adrift Pipe dreams Vile blue yonder A question of resources Edifice wrecks West at sunset They came for Jerry first We are the world One item menu Bill of fare Tawny ports Digging up Little Peanut The boys next door Looking for Mr. Peanut Who will answer? The gashouse gang Bonfire of the inanities Guantanamo Bey Lost in translation Money changes everything America can't sleep The war for Hillary's ear Hay foot, straw foot Driving out the devil The old pawn shop Absence of humor Who fits the bill The emperor's new clothes Time to act Dems need a plan In the crosshairs The perfumed prince, dancing Al and the circle game The ties tha bind Oh, the humanity Keep your best friends close Disorder in the court Smoke gets in your eyes Jokers wild Weird science The power of football The good, the bad and the ugly The Wooden Titan From mad to nuts Bears on roller skates Hillary Clinton: Breaking up is hard to do The next extinction Live free or work Kim Jong Il: On the road again First in, last out The new Torquemadas The new wreckers The trouble with kamikazes We all come back, or we all die together Not one cent for tribute Loose lips sink ships What accounts for Democratic behavior Why their secrets are safer than ours No steak knives for the losers A martyr in waiting
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